Surprise! I am pregnant!
It feels surreal to be writing these words to you, and I have wanted to write this email for a while. After all, you're my people. We have been through a lot together.
After my Mom went to Heaven in April of last year, life changed completely for our family. I had a lot of space open in my life, which was quickly filled with grieving, renovating the doll shop, doll events, exciting doll releases, and navigating the day-to-day of my new life. What happened most, and what I found myself saying to friends and family, is that the "sparkle" felt gone. We have done such a good job sticking together, even though Mom was the glue. I have been proud of my Dad and two brothers, yet there was still that space, and that itch grew and grew.
I had hoped it would happen at some point this year, so you can imagine my shock when I found out the day before the Shoot for the Stars Convention started. It's been a whirlwind adventure of navigating nausea and fatigue, wrapping my head around juggling everything, and taking the time to sit back in gratitude and thankfulness and enjoy this experience.
There are no grandchildren in my family (or Derek's), which my Mom wanted so badly to experience. My throat catches, and tears fill my eyes every time I think about it, but I am still so grateful and know she is so excited for us. She hoped a lot for my future but hoped this more than anything. She was about my age when she was pregnant with me - running the same doll shop. She had just renovated our doll shop and had so many things to manage. She was figuring it out herself, and I marvel at what she was able to accomplish.
I grew up in the doll shop. She brought me to work, and I ran wild, dressing up in doll clothes and wigs, learning about life and dolls and antiques, potty training, and watching her work and manage a team. Not a day goes by that I don't stop and marvel that it's now ME. I am doing that. Indeed, this will be my most incredible adventure in dolls, and I don't know exactly what it will look like, but I feel SO ready because I had the greatest teacher. I have taken many roles in the last several years that I wasn't prepared for or even wanted, but this one - I am so ready to be a Mama.
I look forward to future doll releases, exciting videos, sharing our day-to-day adventures in the doll shop, and I am so happy I can let you into this next phase of our lives.
More than anything, I never want you to feel forgotten when you're living with a broken heart when I write. I will always meet you right where you are without advice or next steps, but just to say, "I see you, and I am so sorry." I don't always have the answer or perfect words, but remember that I am somewhere out there, always hoping for the best for you.
Thank you for being a part of this journey, thank you for cheering us on, and thank you for giving me a space to share our lives with you. My job, this platform, and what we have been able to accomplish and experience together in the last several years remains one of my greatest privileges. I am thankful to have you here with me, with our little family and this tiny human that is due to join us in November.
Love,
Rachel
PS - we will let you know if it is a boy or girl soon. We already know and planning a cute reveal.
